I know I am supposed to be getting ready for our road trip, but something has been on my mind. Homeschool moms tend to be really hard on themselves, I know because I tend to judge myself harshly about our homeschool. Anyway, I was thinking about some of the REAL mistakes I have made during my homeschooling adventure, and I thought I'd share them with you. Let me say up front, these are MY mistakes, they may not be mistakes for you. You may have your own, and feel free to share them!
1)
Feeling guilt about being online. Yes, this is a mistake, because when I am online (even on Facebook) I am usually reading about homeschooling, Christianity or topics related to home and finance. I have found myself constantly saying I need to be online less, and that may very well be true, but being online has led me to some great opportunities, great curriculum, a wealth of knowledge, fantastic recipes (Come on, I do occasionally cook!), great books, and a lot of homeschooling moms with whom I have something in common. Going to forums and being on homeschooling Yahoo groups is not a waste of time for me - it has allowed me to serve and be served. Of course there should be guidelines about being online, I am not saying I can be online willy nilly at the expense of school time.
2)
Trying to be "public school" at home. As a new homeschooler I did this. I still have some tendencies to do it. I am not saying there isn't a time or a place for a legitimate lecture or a white board, but I am trying to be more relaxed and flexible in our learning. Being rigid is no fun.
3)
Comparing myself to other homeschool moms. Recently a friend of mine said to me, "After seeing what you did with _________ I realized I don't do enough with my kids." Ouch. I told her she was fine. I cringed to hear her criticize herself. If what she does works with her kids then she needs to embrace it. I have done and still do the same thing though. I see what some other mom did or is doing and I think suddenly that I need to do that to or I will be less than. Where does this come from? Yes, we can get good ideas from other homeschoolers (see #1) but we DO need to swim in our own lane. We all have different lives, schedules, circumstances, finances and children. As a homeschool blogger who reads other homeschool blogs, I fall in to this trap all the time. I need to remind myself that unless something I am doing ISN'T working, then I don't need to change anything.
If you find yourself criticizing homeschool bloggers or other homeschoolers, in a defensive manner, who seem like "super christian homeschool domestic moms" then you may want to take a step back and ask yourself why? I have heard real life friends make comments about "not having time for all that stuff" and "how does she ever have time to homeschool when she is maintaining that blog and writing all that curriculum?" Maybe she is a good time manager, maybe she has help. Is it really our business? Those comments are made with some sort of self righteous tone or an attempt to justify what we are doing because WE feel we aren't doing enough in comparison. Let go of that line of thinking because we all have things we do that others don't do. There are moms I know that don't "have time" to blog, but instead garden and do canning and a lot of cooking. That isn't me, I don't do those things and I "don't have time" for those things. It isn't my interest or my gift. I'd rather buy other people's canned goods than learning to do it myself. I prefer blogging and reading lots of books.
4)
Buying in to the need for "socialization." Ugh. As a new homeschooler I drove myself crazy participating in co-ops because my kids needed the "socialization." I almost burned myself out and then I realized I didn't need co-ops. If we do co-ops these days it is truly for a learning opportunity, not for friend time. We have park day, sports, family and Sunday school for social time and it's all we need!
5)
Over scheduling. Another, UGH! I no longer get my kids involved with every activity known to man. I don't want to run them ragged, myself ragged or break my bank account. We pick and choose. Noodle does baseball and Cub Scouts. Bear does Boy Scouts and occasionally volunteers at the zoo. We no longer have some place to be every night of the week. Life is better now.
I still manage to over schedule school work. I am working on that. I know I am not the only homeschool mom who wants to do it all. There are so many awesome topics to learn about! Too bad there aren't enough hours in the day, days in the month and months in the year to do ALL the units we want to do! Life is so unfair!
6)
Disorganized learning environment. I am hanging my head in shame. I now have a beautiful IKEA school room, but don't you know I still have piles?? Oh, there is a place for the things I have piled, they just aren't in that place! This is an ongoing battle for me. Part of the problem is I am a paper hound, and a book junkie. My name is Mary and I am a bookaholic.
7)
Being a slave to my curriculum. Surely you have been there done that?? Anyone?? I have finally, finally been broken of this. I am now Flexible Felicia and Tweaker Tammy. I do not feel I need to check every box and do every page. I thrive on being eclectic and incorporating materials I own into the curriculum we use. The FREEDOM is awesome.
8)
Not starting sooner. By far my biggest homeschooling mistake was not starting sooner, but it is what it is. God planted seeds starting when my oldest was just a baby. In 1991 homeschooling wasn't all that common, but God put someone in my life (Kathy- hi!!) who was homeschooling her girls. It was the first I ever heard of it. I had gone to her house and she had a school room set up, and her curriculum was Abeka. I thought "how weird, yet how neat" but the thought of doing it never occurred to me. God placed several other people in my life over the years, but still it never occurred to me. Yes, I was one of those women who even said, "I don't know how you do it, I could NEVER." Oh yes I did. God has a wonderful sense of humor though and it was less than a year after making that statement that I was indeed a homeschooling mother.
How about you? What are some of your homeschooling mistakes?
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